Are YOU being Truly Authentic at Work and at Play?

The common meaning, we apply to determine authenticity is being true to our personality and spirit, regardless of the pressure applied by circumstances to act otherwise.

Simple right. Just be you!

Actually- no! It’s not?

But why?

We all believe in the importance of authenticity, yet we feel that many people we interact with are not. Being authentic all the time is an extremely challenging experience in all our lives because it’s something we think about not feel. And in this place the alignment that we need to be authentic falls down, even if its temporary.

Authenticity is a knowing and not a belief. It can’t be thought. It must be felt in the body with no question.

The secret to authenticity is found in the alignment of our personality with our spirit.  But this is easier said that done. To find this magical place we need to know ourselves deeply – and this includes our hearts and minds so that they can be in synch.

Knowing thyself is the holy grail that authenticity arises from. It cannot rise from the ego where our conditioned thinking prevails, and our sub-conscious beliefs lurk. To know yourself as your truth requires your attention within. It’s found in your heart, and in your belly. It’s an energy beyond doubt.

Our personalities are created through experiences, learning and memory. What we see and how we react determines what our personalities become. They are a product of our pasts, but not always our realities now.

Our spirit is not impacted by thoughts or ideas. It just is. It is beyond the influence of our yesterdays and our needs for tomorrow. It is timeless.

Our lives can be full of perceived stresses that bend our personalities away from what we truly feel and know to be right in our guts. The circumstances of life can distort what we do and what we believe about ourselves, causing us to create different habits depending on what those circumstances are. We surrender to our fears and needs not our wants and truths.

We often feel a need to fit in, play safe and be successful. And sometimes this need overwhelms our heart’s desire to be in a place of integrity always. We don’t want to suffer or lose so we are conditioned to do what it takes to avoid it.

Stepping away consciously or unconsciously from our values and truths in the face of pressure can sometimes appear to be the best way to stay out of trouble. But this can be expensive for our self-esteem and is best avoided where at all possible. Our bodies will tell us when we have let ourselves down and sold our souls.

In several clutch moments in my career, I was challenged to choose between playing the game or playing as my authentic self. I chose the latter on each occasion, and yes, I paid a price. But, on every occasion, I was happy with my choice.

That price never contradicted or lessened my inner sense of self and that mattered to me more than money and the other normal measures of success. It was funded from superficial losses that could be replenished from places outside of my soul, like my bank account. I’m proud of the choices I made and that’s what matters to me most.

One of the factors that can drive us out of authenticity is the energy of expectation. Our minds create a vision of what will transpire, and we cling to that image. And in this place, we can create artificial needs and fears that lead us to override what we know in our hearts and bodies is the true actions we want to take.

We don’t want to fail and dethrone our hopes and dreams by acting in our truth, so we bend to cater to the needs of others. This began when we were very young for most of us. If your parents were normal, you may have been told that you will get rewarded if you do what you are told to do. Clean your room and you will get a treat. Is it any wonder we discard our true desires in search of safety and rewards. It’s baked into our psyche.

We have been trained to comply with the way it is around here if we want to be successful. So, meeting the expectation of others can become the enemy of the true desires we seek. But is this real success to be in a place where or hearts and minds are not in synch and our actions lead us to a place of misalignment with the truth in our guts.

It’s always important in any situation where you are under pressure to ask yourself. What do you believe others expect of me in these circumstances? And what are the expectations of myself in this situation? Then ask yourself – what is the relationship between the two sets of expectations, and ultimately which one matters more to YOU?

External expectation can be a conditioned thought. Our true desires are a feeling we can trust.

This distortion between what we know is right and what we ultimately do is a dilemma we all face When we shapeshift to satisfy the world or someone we want to be loved or rewarded by, we can lose authenticity and give away our ultimate authority to be the real us.

True leaders in any walk of life or relationship know the value of authenticity. We can all feel when its absent in a situation. Customers feel it, staff feel it and our lovers feel it too. But most of all we feel it. We know when we have sold ourselves out for some artificial gain. And that is expensive to our souls and the asociated sense of self.

To be a great leader, partner in life or parent – the list is endless – we really need to be true to ourselves first and foremost. Afterall, you are you – every other person is taken.

This is where true safety lies, not in the temporary sugar fix that meeting the needs and expectations of others brings us.

What’s your experience with beauty and the need to constantly impress others with your looks?

What are your views on this topic?

Can you feel the presence of authenticity, and how does it make you feel? What price do you pay to step away from your truths and your desires?

Don’t hesitate to contact me at mark@mark-worthington.com if you would like to share your views on this post with me. You never know it could be a beautiful exchange of ideas.